Josh Pearce
Communicator

In a society where sex sells, the difference between a good and bad relationship may be the art of not dismissing the importance of individual identity.

“Don’t sell yourself to anybody. There is someone out there that will tell you after waking up without make-up on that you are beautiful and mean it,” said Ellen Gootblatt.

Jewish New York native Gootblatt spoke to students with a thick Brooklyn accent about her life experiences as well as her views in relation to relations. Sex, relationships and family were the topics of the lecture that took place at SFCC’s Sub Lounges A/B on April 30.

“If your relationship is with the right person at the right time sex is fabulous,” said Gootblatt “If whether or not you sleep with someone or not is the barometer on whether they stay with you, you have chosen an idiot.

“Get to know who you are before you give yourself to another.”

In reference to casual sex and the 61-year-old former ABC talk show host said she was conservative when it came to sex at a young age, but became very liberal when it came to sex at a mature age. Maturity, she said, is an age group reflective as a state of mind rather than as a number.

“Casual ‘hello how are you want to have sex?,’ that ís the sex that I don’t understand,” said Gootblatt.

The questions ranged from “Is it OK to be friends after a relationship,” to “Is flirting OK?”

There are four types of flirting, Gootblat said, the first is the most harmless and when a single person flirts with a single person. This is the only type that is acceptable. The other three types involve persons involved in relationships.

“It is disgusting whether around your partner or not,” said Gootblatt.

Gootblatt said couples involved in relationships need to be best friends if it is going to work. She also touched on the issue of control in relationships.

“Whether it is how your hair is cut, the size of your body or how you dress, it is your body and therefore your issue,” said Gootblatt.

Gootblatt offered questions to ask before entering into a relationship.

“If this romance were to end tomorrow would I still want this person as a lifelong friend?”

She told the audience that everyone is drop dead gorgeous to somebody, so there is not a need to go over the top.

“Life is short, do it as spectacularly as possible,” she said.

You can contact the writer at staffwriter@spokanefalls.edu